I didn't think it would be as challenging as it has been. Of course I could be bored and impatient. But I am dealing with something rather unexpected: stress. Before I get deeper into my current state, let's dive back to the past few months.
I left you right before my trip to New York*. All went accordingly to plan. There have been ups and down when it comes to actually get everything together. After I came back from NY I was waiting for my Green Card to ship to my mother in law's house in North Carolina as they won't ship a Green Card internationally. I was still living in Belgium with my husband so we had my mother in law send it to us. The next step after that was getting a social security number so I could renew my military spouse ID card, open a bank account, get a credit card and build my credit score. This portion was the most stressful and took the longest as there was apparently a big wave of applicants in my situation. We went back and forth between the US embassy in Brussels and the one in Dublin. Brussels finally agreed to speed up the process and my social security card showed up in the mail 2 days before leaving for North Carolina.
The trip to North Carolina had a few different purposes: the first one being seeing where my husband has grown up, meeting his cat, visiting his sister in Wilmington and spending time away from Belgium before he would go to army school. During that time I was also able to open a bank account and be affiliated to his credit card which allowed me to slowly build credit to then apply for my own credit card.
I ended up flying back to Belgium June 23rd and started working again at my old job June 30th.
And this is where we are now: stressed. Stressed for, what are you asking? You might not know this about me but if I have one moto in life it's to never rely on one source of income. As big or small as one may be, successful people never have one job! And I've never had one job. This is certainly not a curriculom vitae so let's jump right into what I do now. The first activity that has been following me for the longest is video editing for my Youtube Channel. I've gathered hours and hours of films from different places I've visited and although the income is certainly small, it has time to time helped me funding a project here and there. The old job I mentioned above is at a salad bar at the food court of the military base my husband was stationed at. Most of you would think I'm a cashier or a waitress but really my job has more to do with translating than salads or smoothies. I take the order, put it in the computer and print a receipt that my foreign coworkers** will be able to better understand. I don't work a lot of hours because I'm only covering the weekend shifts but it sure helps financially. My third, last and most intricate job would be petsitting as well as housesitting. It all started by a favor and the became a mini enterprise. My husband and I's living situation was tricky and being able to stay at other people's house for the weekend or sometimes a week really helped us cope with not being able to have our home. Each time we were able to build our little world and understand what we liked and disliked about a house. It also allowed us to take care of animals and fulfill that void in our hearts. Housesitting more than petsitting requires a huge amount of planning if you don't wanna end up ordering take outs everyday and waste gas because you forgot the Chrome Cast (which by the way I've lost - RIP where you may be...). And this summer is all about saving money***. There 5 categories of things you have to think about when packing: food, clothes, hygiene, electronics, and entertainment. Let me just say that I stopped using light plastic bags. Suitcases are in order and I still hate elevators. Watching other people's animals twice the work as owning pets of your own. You can't make mistakes, you follow the rules and you pray everyday that everything goes according to plan.
I have very little time to see and do everything and yet it feels like October will never come around. In the last month my body has shown me signs of shutting down. I couldn't avoid seeing the effects. I wasn't able to tell my mind to cope with the obstacles that I was facing and that would lead to more tears and more fear. It wasn't just working, it was the challenges I was giving myself. Everything has to be perfect because it's a one way flight. There's no coming back.
So we are here today, I woke up feeling like I wouldn't see the end of the day. Thankfully I don't have to go anywhere or do anything. I turned on Netflix as I do everyday that I'm housesitting but for the first time my heart wasn't feeling ready to follow the intense adventures of Jane Villanueva****. The preview for a show that I had seen a million times before started playing: " Seeing the house from the outside, you think: "just a regular house, in a regular old neighborhood". But then you walk in and it's bam!
I thought to myself "why not?!". As I was laying there, taking in all the information it changed my mood and my perspective. I got up to go to the bathroom and paused the show. I saw the cats lay by the window trying to catch every breath of fresh air coming in and for the first time I sat down with them. I brushed their fur and listened to nothing. I could feel that I missed hearing the sound of the excitement coming from the tv speakers but I couldn't make myself press play again. So I got up and decided to grab the only book I brought with me. I read a few pages and I calmed down. Then I decided to do what only made sense to me: get on the computer and tell you what I'm going through so it doesn't get lost. It hasn't been long since I've heard the speakers ramble through someone's story but for the first time today, I turned the volume down.
*Playlists of the NYC vlogs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQDN_6rmr5Y&list=PLKox_Fg4HBBr5kwEkebp1g88LqS96u5MA
**Trust me, eventually, we'll get to that.
***You'll know why soon.
****Main character from the Netflix hit "Jane the Virgin".
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